Tick Turmoil
by A. Frivolous
Summary: Matty's in a complete state of turmoil when he thinks he has a tumor! Mello gets to play doctor. Oh woe is Matty. Short OneShot crackfic. Rated T for language. MxM, MelloxMatt. Finally posted this fic!


Title: Tick Turmoil  
Summary: Matty's in a complete state of turmoil when he thinks he has a tumor! Mello gets to play doctor. Oh woe is Matty. Short crackfic. Rated T for language. MelloxMatt.

**Author's Note: **So, this idea came after I pulled the tenth tick off my cat. I swear, he needs to stay out of the woods! Anyway, I just had the idea of, how would Matt react to having his first tick? And if he couldn't see it, would he even realize it was a tick? Yeah, that's where this came from. Stupid, really short, but made me grin.

-As a side note, I wrote this over a year ago. (Original author note as well) I had needed to rewrite it a bit and never got around to doing that. So here it is. Also, not sure how many more DN fics I'll be doing, mostly into Bleach nowadays. Feel free to check out my GrimmIchi story though if you're a fan~!

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A redhead was sitting on the floor of his room in Wammy's, his eyes darting from one corner to the next. 'I'm dying, I know I am!' Were his thoughts. He looked back down to what was before him. He gripped the pen tight and continued to write on the piece of paper before him.

_Final Will and Testiment._

_To anyone who reads this, this is my (Matt's) final will._

_I would like to have L at my funeral._  
_I leave my goggles to Mello. (Mells, please don't throw them away!)_  
_I want all my video games burned after I die. (They're MINE!)_  
_I wanna be buried in my usual clothes._  
_I want Near to actually wear black to my funeral. (Mells, if need be, go ahead and put into motion OPERATION: Emo Albino.)_  
_I want my coffin to have a window in it. (I don't wanna be buried in the dark!)_  
_I wanna be buried in Disney World. (Preferably somewhere quiet.)_  
_I want my priest dressed as Goofy. (Or Goofy dressed as a priest, either way works for me!)_

_And finally, I'd like-_

"Matt, what are you doing?"

Matt stopped and looks up at the blonde who towered over him. The redhead whined as Mello leans over him to look over the piece of paper, rolling his eyes as he snaps the corner off his chocolate bar. Then he swipes the pen from Matt and crosses out one of the words and writes it down again.

"Mells! Stop!"

"You spelled testament wrong, dumbass... What is this?"

Mello dropped the pen after correcting Matt's spelling error and looks down to the redhead with a questioningly look. Matt rubbed the back of his head and glanced down to the paper then stood and looks back to the blonde.

"Mells, I'm dying."

"Don't be so stupid."

Mello snapped and glowers at the redhead then he turns and plops down onto the bed, finishing off his chocolate bar. Matt whined and stomped his foot as he then grips the paper and pen in both hands.

"I'm being serious Mello! I'm dying! I have a tumor on the back of my head, I can feel it at the base of my skull! It's been getting bigger and bigger for a week now! I-I don't wanna die Mells!"

Matt wails and throws his hands in the air as he paced in the room. Mello watched the redhead and shook his head at the boy. The blonde crumples the chocolate wrapper and tosses it at Matt's head, easily hitting him.

"Let me see this ''tumor'' of yours Matt..."

Mello grumbled and sat up on the bed. Matt's eyes widened and he shook his head quickly, dropping the paper and pen, backing up then.

"No way! I wanna get laid before I die! I should still have a little time but if you try somethin' I might not get the chance!"

He whined and began using over exaggerated hand motions. Mello's eyes narrow and he gets off the bed, his fists clenched.

"The hell! We just had sex a couple weeks ago Matt!"

Mello snaps and shoots a glare at the redhead. Matt nods and crosses his arms over his chest, looking at the blonde seriously.

"I know that. I want to get laid by a _guy_..."

He flashes a toothy grin but soon he ducks as the lamp from the nightstand is thrown at him.

"Screw you!"

Mello yells and storms over to the redhead. Before Matt could escape, Mello had Matt slammed onto the floor and pinned down on his stomach, Mello's knee pressed into Matt's spine.

"Ow! Get off me!"

"Shut up! Now, where is this tumor?"

"I'm sorry doctor, can I see your credentials?"

Mello growls and grabs a fist full of red hair, yanking Matt's head up and causing the redhead to yelp in pain. Whimpering Matt nods slightly and slips his eyes closed.

"H-Here..."

Matt reaches back and presses his fingers to the spot where said tumor is. Mello swats Matt's hand away then begins to look for himself. Brushing aside Matt's hair he searches the base of Matt's skull carefully, until he spots the mass Matt was complaining about. His eyes zero in on the spot then he rolls his eyes and grabs ahold of it.

"Wait! Stop, you can't just-"

"Shut up and quit squirming! This will only take a second!"

Matt wailed and buries his face into his forearm as he tries to keep himself still. 'Mells is trying to kill me, I knew I shouldn't have made that getting laid comment...' Were his thoughts as he mentally sobbed. Mello rolled his eyes and then pinched the mass, and with one good jerk he yanked it out of Matt's skin. Matt let out a scream of terror at the idea of Mello pulling the tumor off him in such a way and he starts kicking and squirming under Mello.

"Stop your whining you big baby! It didn't even hurt you!"

"I'm gonna bleed to death!"

Matt wailed again and stood up, beginning to feel the area with his fingers as he feels panic setting in. Mello sits down on the bed and rolls his eyes, kicking Matt in the leg.

"Matt, calm down... You're not bleeding to death, and you didn't have a tumor... This is what you had."

With that said Mello holds up a fat, smooth, mass between his fingers about the size of a penny. Matt stops wailing long enough to rub his leg where the blonde had kicked him and look between Mello's fingers, his eyes doubling in size when seeing it. His jaw hung slightly while he stared in shock.

"It was a tick, you idiot."

Mello rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time and grabs out box of matches from under the mattress and then pulls a match out, lights it and holds the match under the tick which was between his fingers. After a few seconds there was a "pop" sound and Mello drops the tick to the floor, stomping it with his sock covered foot. Blood squirted out and he lifts his foot to see a big red spot on the bottom of his sock.

"Eww!"

Matt quivers and groans as he stared at the bloody mass on Mello's now stained white sock.

"You owe me one of your socks... Now quit being such an idiot!"

Mello smacked Matt upside the head and glowered at him then crosses his arms and taps his foot on the floor. Matt rubs the back of his head and grinned towards the blonde, shrugging.

"So... Ready to pull off OPERATION: Emo Albino?"

Matt decided to change the subject. Mello's mouth twitches into a sly smile and he nods to the redhead in approval.

The two leave the room to begin their mission. Mello ended up taking one of Matt's socks to replace his. Matt tore up the Will. Near was doomed to wear black PJ's.

End.

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Yeah, crappy, but I thought it was a bit funny. Anyway, read? Review please. Thanks for reading. -As a side note, as I said earlier, this was written over a year ago. Sorry it's not as good as some of my newer stuff!


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